Not actually. Please. Never stop. Not while you promise to bring me reality TV gold such as that found in this clip: (my personal fav starts around 1:45)
I'm not sure what my favorite part of Not-BFF Bikini Corrie's elimination speech is. I feel like I was given so many nuggets to chose from: "I don't wanna be pretty any more," "I earned it," it just keeps going. I'm almost a little sad for her... sad that she's completely 100% serious. And the best is Paris totally eats it all up while all the other girls are trying not to leave behind a dime spot because of how utterly ridiculous this girl is.
Anyway, the point of all this is that Paris goes for round 2 in the BFF elimination department starting June 2. I'll be there... sadly I don't see Bikini Corrie making a cameo:-( I'm just saying is all...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Being Umployed I have little else to do...
So I started a new book called “The Know-It-All.” I got it for Christmas two years ago and have clearly been DIEING to read it cause, ya know… it looked boring. From the cover, it’s about a guy who wants to read the Encyclopedia Britannica from A-Z so he can be smarter. You understand why I was quick to start. Well after reading the introduction, I’ve learned that it’s actually about a smart guy who’s drawn to the trash that is reality TV and pop culture (he used to write for Entertainment Weekly), however he decides it’s time to fill in the blanks of his college education and read the Encyclopedia Britannica. The book is organized by letter and he picks out words and talks about how they’ve been fitting into his life or how they make him feel. Shocking, I like a book about how things make you feel. Anyway, I’m almost to D and loving it. Here’s a sample:
“Casanova- the famous 18th century lothario ended his life as a librarian. Librarians could use that to sex up their image.”
Anyway, it’s made me realize that I haven’t taken many facts away from my 5 years of college. In fact, aside from the 12 page BS research paper I wrote in 11hours about deep brain stimulation and its potential in treating Treatment Resistant Depression, the only facts I’ve retained from the classroom are from Renee Faatz's Oceanography class. So I’ve started investigating things that I hear about. I’m learning so many interesting things and have been finding ways to (uncreatively) bring them up in conversation. So-far-useless facts I’ve acquired so far:
The RMS Lusitania, which sunk on May 7, 1915 and killed more than 1200 people including women and children, was one of the major factors in prompting the US to join in the war against the Germans. Well apparently there’s a big controversy lately about the sinking of the ship. The drama is surrounding some mysterious second explosion that played a part in the 18 min. sink time. Some say it was exploding boilers or a malfunction with the steam power system, but others say it was contraband ammunition they were ferrying under the guise of being a passenger ship. So really America and the world could have been tricked into the fight because the Britts were hiding behind women and children. I swear to god right now, we could so make a daytime soap opera called “The World” and make each country it’s own character and just use stories like this for the plot lines. High school history would get a massive spike in the polls as every stay at home mom’s favorite subject.
Also I found out they’ve just made a huge discovery about the life of Basking Sharks, the second largest fish in the oceans which reaches up to 35 ft in length. Turns out very little is actually known about these aquatic behemoths. Scientists have never seen a newborn, or a pregnant female, and have no idea where they spend most of their time. They've recently learned, though, that the sharks don’t just hang out in the temperate waters. They vacation! Well not all of them, the ones in the UK just get cold and sleep in deep water. One hung out at the mouth of the Amazon for about a month. I wonder if there’s like underwater resorts or something. I mean Do they take the wife and kids? Is that where all the shark sexing happens and then the girls just hide out in shark convents waiting for the babies to be born? It’s crazy to me that they know so little about these things. I mean come on, they’re HUGE! (that’s not a fat joke) How hard can they be to track? This is the 21st century and people have been studying it for how long? I’m just saying is all…
“Casanova- the famous 18th century lothario ended his life as a librarian. Librarians could use that to sex up their image.”
Anyway, it’s made me realize that I haven’t taken many facts away from my 5 years of college. In fact, aside from the 12 page BS research paper I wrote in 11hours about deep brain stimulation and its potential in treating Treatment Resistant Depression, the only facts I’ve retained from the classroom are from Renee Faatz's Oceanography class. So I’ve started investigating things that I hear about. I’m learning so many interesting things and have been finding ways to (uncreatively) bring them up in conversation. So-far-useless facts I’ve acquired so far:
The RMS Lusitania, which sunk on May 7, 1915 and killed more than 1200 people including women and children, was one of the major factors in prompting the US to join in the war against the Germans. Well apparently there’s a big controversy lately about the sinking of the ship. The drama is surrounding some mysterious second explosion that played a part in the 18 min. sink time. Some say it was exploding boilers or a malfunction with the steam power system, but others say it was contraband ammunition they were ferrying under the guise of being a passenger ship. So really America and the world could have been tricked into the fight because the Britts were hiding behind women and children. I swear to god right now, we could so make a daytime soap opera called “The World” and make each country it’s own character and just use stories like this for the plot lines. High school history would get a massive spike in the polls as every stay at home mom’s favorite subject.
Also I found out they’ve just made a huge discovery about the life of Basking Sharks, the second largest fish in the oceans which reaches up to 35 ft in length. Turns out very little is actually known about these aquatic behemoths. Scientists have never seen a newborn, or a pregnant female, and have no idea where they spend most of their time. They've recently learned, though, that the sharks don’t just hang out in the temperate waters. They vacation! Well not all of them, the ones in the UK just get cold and sleep in deep water. One hung out at the mouth of the Amazon for about a month. I wonder if there’s like underwater resorts or something. I mean Do they take the wife and kids? Is that where all the shark sexing happens and then the girls just hide out in shark convents waiting for the babies to be born? It’s crazy to me that they know so little about these things. I mean come on, they’re HUGE! (that’s not a fat joke) How hard can they be to track? This is the 21st century and people have been studying it for how long? I’m just saying is all…
Yoga Hurts...
I mean like I can’t move my torso type hurts. Which is weird cause you're just standing there. Literally. That’s it. Just stand there, bending and breathing. Sadly in the midst of all that bending and breathing I was led to one of two conclusions: My eight months away from the gym has left me as shapely and firm as a week old pear or the soft lighting and Enya-like background music induced a panic attack which caused me to shake and sweat uncontrollably. I’m not sure which I’m planning on claiming yet, but I’ll give you an update after day two. Also I’m planning a lawsuit against Wii. Here I was, believing I was some sort of supreme yoga master because I learned it from WiiFit. Come to find out I know nothing. And when Aimee, my new yoga guide, busted out some prayer about a light in me and light in you I was thoroughly confused. Steve from Wiifit never led me in a verse of “This Little Light of Mine” at the end of tree pose level 1. I’m just saying is all…
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Great News!
I have this blahg! I wish I had something witty and fun to say about why I've started this blahg, but that would require me admitting that I'm a severely vain individual who thinks other people want to read all of my innermost thoughts about the most trivial and mundane of life's happenings. And let's be honest, I don't know you that well... yet. What you can expect to see: me being funny, lots of ellipses (I'm a dot dot dotter), and hopefully me telling you all about the BLAH that is my life... only in blog form... hence the... blahg. Good I'm glad we're all on the same page.
P.S. Just in case you caught the awkward Hitler reference, let me just clear up that I'm not a racist... or a white supremacist, cause I think there's a difference. I have many (ok some) black friends. Just ask Omar. I will admit that I do have to reference Urban Dictionary quite often, so maybe he's not quite black enough. Which is actually a true statement cause he's also part Native American. All he needs is an illegitimate Mexican baby and he'd be the Holy Trifecta of minority friends...Anyway, after a bit of research (aka I wikepedia-ed that shit) I found out the the original title for Hitler's little saunter through political philosophy was supposed to be Four and a Half Years (of Fighting) Against Lies, Stupidity and Cowardice. This blog will be the account of my fight against boredom, stupidity, and idiocy in rural America. See... it fits.
P.S. Just in case you caught the awkward Hitler reference, let me just clear up that I'm not a racist... or a white supremacist, cause I think there's a difference. I have many (ok some) black friends. Just ask Omar. I will admit that I do have to reference Urban Dictionary quite often, so maybe he's not quite black enough. Which is actually a true statement cause he's also part Native American. All he needs is an illegitimate Mexican baby and he'd be the Holy Trifecta of minority friends...Anyway, after a bit of research (aka I wikepedia-ed that shit) I found out the the original title for Hitler's little saunter through political philosophy was supposed to be Four and a Half Years (of Fighting) Against Lies, Stupidity and Cowardice. This blog will be the account of my fight against boredom, stupidity, and idiocy in rural America. See... it fits.
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