Friday, May 8, 2009

Being Umployed I have little else to do...

So I started a new book called “The Know-It-All.” I got it for Christmas two years ago and have clearly been DIEING to read it cause, ya know… it looked boring. From the cover, it’s about a guy who wants to read the Encyclopedia Britannica from A-Z so he can be smarter. You understand why I was quick to start. Well after reading the introduction, I’ve learned that it’s actually about a smart guy who’s drawn to the trash that is reality TV and pop culture (he used to write for Entertainment Weekly), however he decides it’s time to fill in the blanks of his college education and read the Encyclopedia Britannica. The book is organized by letter and he picks out words and talks about how they’ve been fitting into his life or how they make him feel. Shocking, I like a book about how things make you feel. Anyway, I’m almost to D and loving it. Here’s a sample:

“Casanova- the famous 18th century lothario ended his life as a librarian. Librarians could use that to sex up their image.”

Anyway, it’s made me realize that I haven’t taken many facts away from my 5 years of college. In fact, aside from the 12 page BS research paper I wrote in 11hours about deep brain stimulation and its potential in treating Treatment Resistant Depression, the only facts I’ve retained from the classroom are from Renee Faatz's Oceanography class. So I’ve started investigating things that I hear about. I’m learning so many interesting things and have been finding ways to (uncreatively) bring them up in conversation. So-far-useless facts I’ve acquired so far:

The RMS Lusitania, which sunk on May 7, 1915 and killed more than 1200 people including women and children, was one of the major factors in prompting the US to join in the war against the Germans. Well apparently there’s a big controversy lately about the sinking of the ship. The drama is surrounding some mysterious second explosion that played a part in the 18 min. sink time. Some say it was exploding boilers or a malfunction with the steam power system, but others say it was contraband ammunition they were ferrying under the guise of being a passenger ship. So really America and the world could have been tricked into the fight because the Britts were hiding behind women and children. I swear to god right now, we could so make a daytime soap opera called “The World” and make each country it’s own character and just use stories like this for the plot lines. High school history would get a massive spike in the polls as every stay at home mom’s favorite subject.

Also I found out they’ve just made a huge discovery about the life of Basking Sharks, the second largest fish in the oceans which reaches up to 35 ft in length. Turns out very little is actually known about these aquatic behemoths. Scientists have never seen a newborn, or a pregnant female, and have no idea where they spend most of their time. They've recently learned, though, that the sharks don’t just hang out in the temperate waters. They vacation! Well not all of them, the ones in the UK just get cold and sleep in deep water. One hung out at the mouth of the Amazon for about a month. I wonder if there’s like underwater resorts or something. I mean Do they take the wife and kids? Is that where all the shark sexing happens and then the girls just hide out in shark convents waiting for the babies to be born? It’s crazy to me that they know so little about these things. I mean come on, they’re HUGE! (that’s not a fat joke) How hard can they be to track? This is the 21st century and people have been studying it for how long? I’m just saying is all…

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